some people 

REALLY 

don't like to get their photo taken...

 and some people REALLY do.

my new view.

certainly a far cry from my dirt-filled desert days.

i'm meant for the city.

but boy, 

letmetellya,

i sure do miss my favorite palm tree

(she knew me better than anyone).

i found love.

maybe that's why i've neglected my blog for so long.

i'm useless when i'm smiling.

it didn't last.

love is not all you need.

and it's important to remember that,

sometimes,

no one is to be blamed;

it was just the universe's decision.

a wise friend sent me this message [in an attempt to comfort me after my little break up]:

I'm so sorry about the misalignment of your paths. The older I get, the more certain I am that timing trumps almost all other variables in the influence over a relationship.
Personally, I don't believe in closing a door on a relationship... ever. So many people have circled back around in my life, sometimes showing up very much evolved, that I realized it's a bit silly to completely write someone off, even when they hurt me badly. One should never underestimate their own growth and ability to forgive. If you are a good person, you will constantly surprise yourself with what you can survive, and what you can forgive upon further understanding and empathy.

You have a very strong heart (at least that's what your blog tells me); it will be matched in good time, and the fight will have been worth it.

thanks for these words, friend.

youth lagoon- montana click.click.

it's truly amazing 

what a man turns into,

once you bruise his ego.

i imagined us falling into the sky.

he showed me far away galaxies

and reignited my belief in love.

the smiths- how soon is now?

give me patience,

don't teach me patience.

-my grandfather, don bowman.

don't be afraid-

you are only dreaming.

louis armstrong- la vie en rose

"goodbye"

is all he wrote.

i am already comfortable at your side,

relaxed as i gaze into your eyes,

content at your side whilst your arms envelope my being.

it was never new to me,

for i met you long ago-

when we dreamed the same dream,

just as the sky that is bonded by clouds,

and the earth that is intertwined by the trees' roots.

your touch,

your laughter,

your smell,

i already knew it.

you have grown, 

my sweet little dream.

i can no longer wrap my arms around you.

for with love,

you grew-

as the sunset, 

as the ocean,

and just as the universe surrounding us.

now my fingertips can only lightly graze

as i try to wrap you in my colors.

because of love,

you have grown.

he: how many times have you fallen in love, since me?

she: oh wow, gosh. i'm not sure . . . at least a dozen.

he: what? how? it's only been a year.

she: well, love can happen in an instant.

would you prefer to know that 

the kiss

you just kissed

was your last

to be shared?

the last time to be entangled with your lover?
to have some kind of warning,
so that you can savor the sweetest of moments?

i'm just not sure.

but,

i do often wonder.

after careful consideration,

a decision has been reached.

it's official-

i am best as a solitary lady.

it's true.

to be an individual that can live life on their own,

and not be pulled down by the constraints of another's expection--

is quite a beautiful thing,

actually.

independence is to be embraced.

hopefully this negativism will pass,

and i again will feel inspired to write some 

"passing notes of a bittered poet".

till then, check out my newest obsession : dearest darling

what more is there to possibly say?

i give up.

you cannot be too gentle, too kind.
shun even to appear harsh in your treatment of each other.
joy, radiant joy, streams from the face of him who gives and kindles joy in the heart of him
who receives.
all condemnation is from the devil. never condemn each other...
instead of condemning others, strive to reach inner peace.
keep silent, refrain from judgement. this will raise you above the deadly arrows of slander, insult, and outrage and will shield your glowing hearts against all evil.

St. Seraphim of Sarov 

shall we try?

i

have

lost

my

focus.

pascal fellonneau photography.

james blake + bon iver- 

fall creek boys choir

wow.

hey handsome,

how 'bout you play some of your sunshine on me?

i'm a huge fan of postcards.

wanna be pen pals?

i'll send you something if you send me something.

email me: cassondracarper@gmail.com

this is my most recent 'postaged gift'. 

it's from a super sweet girl in germany,

her name is andrea.

i hope to meet her one day.

my only memories of you are 

sweet dreams of a future

[that was never meant to be].

 i'll be your home.

the doors- my wild love

best tip i ever got.

pavement- fin

baby,

i ain't some confused soul that needs to be saved.

i'm just . . .

curious.

YOU 

are not

your mind.

and,

that was that.

creedence clearwater revival-

long as i can see the light

you have your way. 

i have my way. 

as far as the right way, 

the correct way, 

and the only way, 

it does not exist.
~Nietzsche

sometimes the universe yells at me.

surprisingly, 
i came across each of these little pep-talks over the course of one sunny/dreary afternoon.

story of my life.

magical magnetism 

only to be muddled in mere moments.

sing it, freddie!

we decided that i am the sun,

bringing life and light.

and he is the moon,

whom will keep my balance.

this is a little painting that i did when i lived damn-near the edge of the world.

i was doing little else than spending time with myself,

and i may have gone a little off.

anyway, this is my explanation of my life's chosen paths...

greatly influenced by my dirt-filled desert days 

and the aboriginal culture that i experienced when i was in australia.

wanna get lost?

check it:

thank you, internet

a stiff apology is a second insult... 

the injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; 

he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.

-gilbert k. chesterton

nouvelle vague- human fly

i suppose i deserve that.

Las margaritas (Sedmikrásky) Vera Chytilová, 1966

later, that same night . . .

note to self: don't forget to come up for air.

word of the day

impulsive  (ɪmˈpʌlsɪv)
— adj
1.	characterized by actions based on sudden desires, whims, or inclinations rather than careful thought: an impulsive man
2.	based on emotional impulses or whims; spontaneous: an impulsive kiss
3.	forceful, inciting, or impelling
4.	(of physical forces) acting for a short time; not continuous
5.	(of a sound) brief, loud, and having a wide frequency range